pull ups are stupid!!!

Who the hell invented pullups??? No, i am serious... and i say it seriously, and i mean it. Pullups are worthless. Personally i believe all exercises are waste of energy that is better utilised somewhere, sorry, anywhere else.
We eat food because we like it, we need it. It gives us energy and makes us happy. Also, it costs us money. It is an investment, and by doing exercise we are just squandering away all that energy, and money. My heart aches when i think of all the loss people have been undergoing believing it is going to help them....
To the guys who like to do pull-ups, brag about them to their friends and jerk-off to their own masculinity...i only have one thing to say. Pull-ups don't make you stud, they make u look stupid!!!!

this is stupid....

stupider....

stupid 10 on a scale of 10......

Congratz!!! you just broke the eternal scale of stupidity by trying to do pull-ups...

Even more than a monkey, because with them it is a natural thing, while with you, it looks like you trying to save your ass from getting burned from an imaginary fire beneath you.....

So, next time you have an urge to do a pull-up, try to be smarter. And if you just decide to laugh it off, you will lose your grip and will have sore muscles for days.


P.S.: 98% of people who decide not to take this blog seriously cannot do even a single pull-up anyway.....

of head and shoulders

sorry for the crappy topic!!! and for those who are new....sorry for the crappy post in advance. I have been looking for a good topic for a long time now (hey wait!! wasn't i doing the same before my last post, and the one before that, and the...oh!! never mind..). So i took up a challenge, i decided to close my eyes and write on whatever i saw first(after opening my eyes, of course, no points if you raised an objection there.) cz its been a long while since i have taken my eyes off my screen now. So i did the exercise and the first thing i laid my eyes on was...well....take a guess, i'm not going to spoil it for you.

Now why would any guy in his sane mind think of writing over a shampoo? Well its actually like this, its my favourite brand of shampoo, rest either i find too girly, too gay, too lesbo(wait!! there is no criteria for lesbo things and lesbo behaviour, y dis atrocity on two guys in love??), bad smelling, bad advertising, oh-not-so-good wrapping, too costly, too cheap, too marxist.... for my taste) And yes!! cz i rule!!!

Also, i am gonna use that shampoo until i figure out what its name could actually mean. I mean, head and shoulders.. the first thought that comes to my mind is that of a medieval axe-bearing giant horse-rider that takes masochistic pleasure in cutting people's heads off...from their shoulders. I have asked my friends about it( wont tell their names here, not for secrecy, they are not just that important) and they told me it was because it targets dandruff which shows on your head and shoulders....and i believed them....for about 5 seconds before i yelled FAGGOTS!!! in their face. Dandruff doesn't just show on ur head and shoulders, it is something you see in the ads of a shampoo(guess which) and people are idiots for believing that. I infact have better names for  such a product, like upper torso or something like that.

The only explanation i can think of is that it is bought due to advertisements that mess with people's heads and put more of a burden on their shoulders. And i think it makes bitches out of guys too. Don't believe me?? Here are few of the responses recorded when a survey was conducted by ALL SHAMPOO SOCIETY OF INDIA on men using this shampoo:-

• I just hate this shampoo.
• It gets into my eyes when i am showering.
• It gives white foam, i like strawberry coloured foam more. 
• It doesn't have honeydew smell.
• They don't give lufa with it.
• It makes my hair oily for 15 minutes more than that other shampoo.
• It's so mean.
• :(

Goodbye and goodluck to all the fellas who are using it....




P.S. : 96% of the surveyed guys burst into tears when asked about their last girlfriends.

Condemned to Smile....

Its been a few days now. Or maybe weeks. Probably months. Time holds no meaning for me anymore. Nor does this eternal river hold any charm for me. Ramifications of the simplest of my undertakings, the unforeseen consequences of my purest actions, and my pessimism seem to have finally conquered my spirit, my enthusiasm, my vigour that i felt were so necessary for my survival. Which i had taught myself to preserve at all costs, for if they broke, i feared, i will too. Who knows, even my life could end, for what use is a life that has no aim, no zeal, no motto.

But as i take a look at the past, and my life, as a movie, floats by my eyes, various events, that then mattered so much to me.... now, reduced to memories, glimpses that i could so easily do without, I find that it was all a lie. The survival instinct that nature has weaved into our genes... is stronger than anything we learn consciously. It can make us break all rules that we surround ourselves in to make our lives comfortable, it can make us rip open that coccon that we feel so safe tucked into, maybe we become a butterfly, maybe we die, but the coccon breaks when it has to. We forfeit our learnings, and customs, and everything we hold dear, when life calls.

But maybe I am taking too generalized view of the world. Maybe I have been born with a rat's instincts, that ask me to leave the ship when it is about to sink. And among my fellow human beings i may find people who value their beliefs above their lives...but sadly, i'm not.

My philosophies of life, or whatever remains of that broken castle, still try to persuade me to sit down, gather everything that has fallen apart, and embark upon a new journey... but my legs  are too tired, my breath comes in gasps, my hands can no more lift that lantern that shows me my way, my eyes cannot perceive what they see... I want my rest, I desperately need it, or else my life may dwindle to nothing.

And yet, I find myself in a crowded market, people bustling around in all directions, hurrying, hurrying towards the unknown, or maybe they know. I dont feel it is right to laugh at others for what i was incapable of doing. This crowd will sweep me off my feet unless i stand tall, there is no side-walk on the road of life. We all have to struggle through the crowd. My eyes fill up with water, i don't understand why. And yet I know, if I find a familiar face, it will look at me for approval, for appreciation. Each glance that i get, has the blaze of expectations from me.

Lonely, tired, broken, in this city crowd, I am condemned to smile....